Why so many suicides?

I am so Blessed. I am not only alive but I can honestly say that I have worked hard to find my truth, my meaning of life! I am here to give you strength and to prove to you that there is a rainbow after the storm. Trust yourself, we are stronger than we believe, I know because I was there. In the last five yrs since leaving my post as Porter at VIA Rail Canada I have been taking courses, all around the world including Brazil, Quebec and here. It has been very informative and life changing. I can honestly say that I was going through a transformation from who I believed I was and who I am becoming, the person I always was meant to be. I had to change my belief system and erase my conditions and most importantly forgive and change my past inner thoughts for healing. Half of my life including my inner self inside my Birth Mothers Womb I was given a push towards the darkness, the shadows of love, yes you read this correctly I don't believe that the hardships that I felt in my Mother womb where by mistake or of no insignificance. They where there to build me up to who I am today. Those Dark energies where there for my strength and my healing. God bless her Soul, I have recently felt her love for the first time in my life! An unconditional love that is unmeasurable. She has died ten years ago but through meditation and wanting to feel her love I was successful in bringing that from within me, my Soul. No words can describe the gift I was given. I have been reading books lately that only has re-informed me about my thoughts and my beliefs. One book that has moved me and that has given me the chance to find my peace is ,OF Water And The Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some. http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/book-reviews/view/7051/of-water-and-the-spirit A beautiful book about finding your purpose in life and living and honoring your past so to become the person he was meant to be. One thing that touched me was when he said "An adult who cannot weep is a dangerous person who has forgotten the place emotion holds in a person's life." and most importantly "It is my belief that the present state of the restlessness that traps the modern individual (us) has its roots in a dysfunctional relationship with the ancestors.In many non-westerners cultures, the ancestors have an intimate and absolutely vital connection with the world of the living. They are always available to guide, to teach, and to nurture. They represent one of the pathways between the knowledge of this world and the next. Most importantly -and paradoxically-they embody the guidelines for successful living-all that is most valuable about life. Unless the relationship between the living and the dead is in balance , chaos results ( Depression). When a person from my culture looks at the descendants of the westerners who invaded their culture, they see a people who are ashamed of their ancestors because they where killers and marauders masquerading as artisans of progress. The fact that these people have a sick culture comes as no surprise to them. The Dagara (his tribe) believe that, if such an imbalance exists, it is the duty of the living to heal their ancestors. If these ancestors are not healed, their sick energy will haunt the Souls and psyches of those who are responsible for helping them. Not all people in the West have such an unhealthy relationship with their ancestors, but for those who do, the Dagara can offer a model for healing the ancestors, and , by doing so , healing oneself." It's time we alter our old ways of thinking and start healing ourselves and others. I have taken a course in Ayurveda ( the other side of yoga, the Science of life), It talks about where we come from and how we are connected as beings. One thing that I kept in mind was that our cells all have information, not only about our physical features but also emotions and so forth. Lets say as an example your great grandfather was in the war and he did not get the chance or the knowledge to let go of his pain and his fears from within himself before his passing, as his emotions are not going to be released and forgiven and their imprint will be passed on to the next generation and so forth. As generation after generation of wars we have built-up so much sorrow within ourselves as men and Woman. We have been taught to hide our emotions and because of this we have no clue how to release or show our emotions without falling apart. Actually the only thing that I have been shown throughout societies is which pill will fix me. As pills are the answer, they have only oppressed them even more. I also have been taught to hold my emotions in from a very young age and thank God I had the strength and vitality to keep on living and release the pain I felt within me in the last five years! After three episodes with depression I gave myself no other if's or buts. Some of my friends and family kept telling my to smarten up and get on with the picture, "You have this and you have that but we cannot compare ourselves to others!" As big or small one person is, we as humans need to release and feel that anger or pain and heal or it is just going to eat us alive and it is and has "Suicide!" Also did you know that the emotion "worry" in men goes to their prostate and the number one cause of cancer in men is prostate cancer. My Dad died of prostate and bone cancer at seventy on his birthday. I am so lucky to be here writing this down to you. I am so blessed, I freed my emotions through meditation with mantras and laughter yoga. Another book that has touched my heart is Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander, M.D.http://www.ebenalexander.com/books/proof-of-heaven/ A neurosurgeon's Journey into the afterlife. One part that touched my heart was "You are loved. Those words are what I needed to hear as an Orphan, as a child who'd been given away. But it's also what every one of us in the materialistic age needs to hear as well, because in terms of who we are, where we really come from, and where we are going, we all feel (wrongly) as orphans. Without recovering that memory of our larger connectedness, and of the unconditional love of our creator, we will always feel lost here on Earth." I was adopted at birth and always felt lost from a very young age. My birth Mother was going through trauma while I was inside her. That pain and fear that I felt from her conditioned me to hold on to dear life. As time pursued life showing me that I could not be myself because of being gay or I felt like a girl at a very young age. All this was part of the key of the Journey for giving me strength and my answer to accepting my suffering and so forth so I can help you find yourself your truth. I would not change anything. I played my role correctly as life was meant to be. There is something different on this Earth, I can close my eyes and sense a new beginning, it's so peaceful and healing. The day of wars are dying and need to be healed all around the world. The planet's frequencies are changing!A new healing Energy is awakening and embracing us! It will take who knows how many years to change the world around us but we can at least start from within our selves. We all deserve freedom! That is where change happens. If you can't find peace within you how can you expect to find peace on the outside? By replacing the hurt and anger and finding solace and forgivness within ourselves is where it all begins. The rest will take care of itself. Lately we or I have been touched by Suicide in the media and papers with Native Aboriginals and my heart goes out to them and their families, we need to give them light and love. If you know of anyone that this blog can help please pass it on. I don't care if I sell any of my art, I care if I save a life. Don't give up, be your truth your light from within, namaste JoéX