Revolutionary Souldier

Hi and welcome to my first blog! I am so excited and anxious to get things rolling. I am in such a peaceful state of mind because in the recent weeks I dealt with a lot of inner turmoil and realignments in my psyche so to let go of past habits so to move on to my next chapter. I notice how wonderful I feel at this moment as I am writing now. When I think back at past emotions it is never easy. Leaving habits are never easy especially if they have been there for fifty years or so. I believe the things that are worth doing sometimes are not always the easiest especially the ones dealing with emotions that pull at our heart strings. For example changing my way I think and talk to myself mentally is and probably will always will be in the picture though I do believe with time flowers do grow back in the war fields! I must say with much patience and determination I have been more friendly to myself than I have ever been in all my life. Yes, I cannot even remember back when I was younger that I loved myself and my body as much as I have lately. I may have but knowing that I purposely hid my true emotions of myself it was probably a white lie. I also want to express that depression is not an easy thing to confront in life. It is not easy to live through those moments in the past though I was ready to confront them and make peace with them and I constantly thank God that I am where I am at at this moment. I truly believe no one can know how depression is until they have dealt with it personally. Meditation has saved my life as well as other things. One of the most important persons that have been by my side all through my awakenings(depression) has been my Husband. He has stuck by my side even though I didn't help him or myself at all and only made things worst for both of us. I know it is never easy to deal with one who is stressed especially one who is hard headed and wants everything to be perfect on the very first try. For example, my Spiritual life has been quite an amazing adventure and has not been an easy one at times either. I had never noticed or realized that we constantly realign ourselves with people who mirror us so to learn about ourselves. It can be beautiful and also quite scary. We all have two sides to ourselves, a shadow and a light. I read lately that it is easier fearing light than darkness. I believe that because I feared the light from within myself. Not that I was a bad person towards others , it was that I was so hard on myself. Nobody deserves to be punished like I punished myself mentally and neither do you. I was so hard on myself, and I wounder how I ever lasted so long doing that to myself? All I can say it takes a lot of self will and hope so not to giving up on yourself. I guess I did believe in myself even though I even hid it from myself? Believing in myself has never been one of my stronger attributes. Though in finding my love and passions in this domain I am realizing that when you love what you are doing and believing in yourself your confidence builds itself quite easily. I sincerely hope this site works out and that with your help and generosity we can help each other and build a better world within Art and Love. This medium "Decoupage" has been a great learning experience spiritually and creatively too. I am so thankful for all the great remarks I have gotten from friends and family. I leave you with one question and please be as honest with yourself. What do you think of yourself today? Is it time for a better way of seeing life? If so, start by giving yourself a hug and forgive yourself with everything you have to give. Your Body is your best friend, show it some love! You wont regret it. P.S. I am not talking about going shopping, I did lots of that in the past. Until next time, hug yourself crazy!